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How to Deal with Difficult People: Smart Tactics for Overcoming the Problem People in Your Life
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 4 hours and 21 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Audible Studios
Audible.com Release Date: August 31, 2015
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B0145EYHPK
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Some people know exactly how to be difficult; they're the people who bring you down with their negativity, criticism or anger, they refuse to cooperate, they're irritating, frustrating and often infuriating, and if you respond to someone else's difficult behaviour with anger and blame, withdrawal or compliance, you may end up feeling guilty, stressed or depressed, according to Gill Hasson in this book.After discussing the differences between openly hostile behaviour, disguised hostility and passive behaviour, the author goes on to discuss ways of communicating with difficult people, including:• Active listening, which minimises the likelihood of communication breakdown• Minimal encouragers, being sounds and body language which should be used calmly and in a neutral way• Questions about feelings, with the aim of developing some degree of empathy• Controlled use of body language• Using an appropriate degree of assertivenessAll of these actions require you to be able to control your own emotional response, something which is very difficult to do in a situation of open conflict. Moreover, as the author indicates numerous times, you need to be able to develop a high level of self-awareness, so that you can form an objective understanding of the extent to which you might be contributing to the conflict.The book seems to concentrate on how to deal with difficult relational situations when they arise, rather than preventing such situations in the first place by investing in relationship building. Nonetheless, in my opinion this reasonably short book provides a number of useful suggestions for dealing with the sorts of situations that everyone encounters but most people dread.
Great book. More thorough than others. It actually has suggestions on how to practice dealing with difficult people. Easy read. Well written. And up to date.
I feel like this book will help me a lot whenever I encounter difficult people and situations where I don’t know what to say and how to respond.
Read this book if you're having problems with difficult people in your life!
A great therapeutic book. Helps with introspection.
I gave it as a gift and she has not read it yet but I think it will be helpful.
Kind of wordy but it's ok.
The positive: this book contains a succinct outline of active listening techniques, which can be useful as a last line of defense.The negative:After reading How to Win Friends & Influence People,The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change and Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, this book has very little to offer. Most of it consists of generic self-help text ("Make sure you aren't the problem." and "Act confidently!"), what Covey would call the "personality ethic." There is also a lack of references to active research on psychology or social dynamics, which makes the book feel even more like a collection of "you can do it" statements and less like a genuine effort to help people.Advising a person to go against the wishes of difficult (often controlling) people without having a firm grasp of oneself (which 7 Habits aims to develop) or a clear idea on how interaction SHOULD operate (as How to Win Friends educates) is TERRIBLE advice. Yet one of the earliest passages in the book is a story of a daughter who, fed up with being treated as the Scapegoat for her family decides to disobey her parent's wishes. It was partially successful for her (which is great), but could very easily have gone cataclysmically bad (the parents could have been abusive narcicists, or be entrenched players of any number of psychological games.) Almost all of the "techniques" recommended amount to kindergarten-esque "tell the bully he is hurting you, and he will stop" nonsense.A difficult person is, usually, some type of monster (sociopath, narcicist or malevolent psychopath), someone who is traumatized in some way, or a person who has an incomplete social character. Unfortunately you will not learn how to identify those in this book, nor will you learn how to have a successful interaction with one.
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